It is time to learn how to get along

Here we are in American history -

1) two wars going on, one of them the longest in our history

2) the US has enormous debt

3) the divide between the poor and the wealthy is getting larger every day

4) the unemployment rate of 9.1% doesn't even reflect those who have given up looking for a job

5) there is economic insecurity across the globe

6) there are people starving in east Africa

I could go on and on and on, but you get the picture. And my government, OUR government, wastes time on fixed positions. It seems when the ship has sprung a leak, we need to pitch in together, and not continue to say that our position is the right one.

I dedicate my life to peace. I have learned how to have compassion for those I dislike, those I find repulsive, those who have hurt me. That doesn't mean I am a pushover -- not by a mile!

The fight for power and money (which is a component of power) is going on fiercely, particularly in the US. Those who represent the old ways (call them what you will) are afraid that they are about to lose their esteemed position. They could be whites who see a dark skinned president, they could be wealthy people who are afraid they will lose some of their luxuries, they might be of modest means who have been manipulated into believing that moving forward will mean a loss of their familiarities.

Those people/organizations who are clinging to their power, and who reside at or near the top of the food chain, consciously and unconsciously manipulate the people at the lower ends by feeding fear and anger.

WE DON'T LEARN

I knew someone who had fled Bosnia a number of years ago. He told me how he had neighbors who belonged to the other ethnic group, and how they had been friends and good neighbors. When the bloodshed began, and hatred rose in their country, he no longer spoke to his neighbor, and began to hate them. He hated them JUST BECAUSE. He spoke with such venom, it was scary.

So now we kill doctors who perform (legal) abortions, we burn campaign offices of those we disagree with, we espouse hate to rile up the crowd, we put crosshairs on our website, we call our president a "tar baby", and we sit back and watch the hatred boil over. (All of my examples come from the news - facts!)

WE DO NOT LEARN

I can tell you that if particular potential presidential candidates manage to get elected, I will seriously consider moving from my beloved country. They spew hate.

We are narcotized in this country -- what gets us riled up enough to take action? We have lost trust in our Congress, but we don't force them to act differently. We act as if we are powerless. That means the hate mongers win.

WE NEED TO LEARN

We need to stand up for:

decency

civility

communication

compassion, even in the face of serious disagreement

the willingness to sit down and talk, listen to the other side, and compromise, if necessary

American values (not Christian values, not Jewish values, not Muslim values, not Democratic values, not Republican values)

I am willing to stand up and let my government AND the media that I have had enough of polarization, lying, and catering to the wealthy. Are you?

Transitions

We are living in a time of enormous change. In the last 5 months, I sold my home, moved across the country to a new city where I am now renting a home. My dream is to mix working with playing, growing, meeting, and learning. It is a period of unending change for me.

It is also a time of such fast change in the workplace that it is impossible to keep up with all that is happening. If you work for an organization of any size, change is happening as we speak. Changing the way that things are done, structures, technical requirements, and who we talk to every day is all in a state of flux. If you are self-employed, you certainly have to keep pace with the world or you will feel the wind whooshing right by you.

What can we do to live within this change? What can we do to thrive within this tumult? And lastly, what can we do to move through so we can get to the other side, wherever that might be?And we want to get through to the other side as an authentic, compassionate, competent professional.

Over the last couple of years, I have been focusing on transitions. Small ones and big ones, like the move from Arizona to Georgia. I have been giving this a lot of thought, as well as a lot of experimenting with different ways to deal with these tremendous transitions. This blog is about sharing those things I have been working on and have found to be most beneficial for myself as well as my clients.

Transitions in the day:

1. Give yourself time to move through the various activities that occupy your day. For example, when I come home, I take at least 15 minutes to become what I call, "human". No talking, no texting, no contact with another person. Then I switch gears, come out of my "cave" and I am ready to be social. At work, between meetings, I go off (even if it is just to the ladies room!) and play a game on my phone, look at the landscape, or just do some deep breathing. Three breaths - in through the nose, and out the mouth.
2. After an emotionally trying exchange with another person: (in person or not) I ALWAYS sit and breathe as I just described after a difficult exchange. I need to center, catch my breath, and remind myself about what I wish to accomplish. This might be a couple of minutes, but it is so very important, so I don't spill "leftovers" with the next person I come in contact with.

Major Transitions:

1. Have a plan and work the plan
2. Have a contingency plan - what I call the "what if's". This list can't be exhaustive, but it can cover 3-5 things that might concern you
3. Be kind to yourself. I kept getting lost in my new town for three months - most of the time, I was patient with myself, as I would be with a good friend. A few times, I was judgmental with myself, and that did not help at all. So I shrugged and smiled as quickly as I could.
4. Know where your support is and who is in that group - keep them in the loop, and reach out to them if they are in need.
5. Do whatever you can (and plan accordingly) to keep your energy balanced, your thinking clear, and your health at an optimum level. I don't need to go into detail - I bet you know what to do, and if you don't, there are great sites on the internet to find out what you need to do to supplement any of those areas.
6. Get professional help whenever you think you are either at a standstill or lost. This can be a counselor, coach, bodyworker, etc. Just get the help - make it as affordable as you can, but an outsider can be extremely helpful.
7. Every time you go into negative thinking ("This won't work; I'm going to fail: He isn't going to like what I do", etc.) take those thoughts and toss them into the ethers. As soon as I catch myself doing negative thinking, I literally smile and think of what I have, feel grateful, and trust in the future. Then I go back to working my plan.

There is much more, of course. Transitions are a part of how we live. We need to honor them, and all those who share our transitional moments. When I finish writing, I am going to get out of this chair in my office and do 5 minutes of yoga stretching. Then I will come back and do the next item on my agenda for today.

May all your transitions be smooth.

Diane

My World and Welcome to It!

Welcome to Win at Work! I have been writing for other people and other organizations for a few years, and I decided, in addition to that, to having my own blog that can entice, educate, stimulate, and amuse you.

What I see in this world of ours is that the conversation is often on topics or perspectives that have little positive effect on things. We are so involved in personalities and perversions that we often don't focus on the real issues. If we did focus on the real issues and not the personalities or the symptoms, we could improve things.

I will be writing from the conflict resolution point of view - how we can be more professional, more peace-oriented, more compassionate, more citizens of the world. How can we take care of ourselves and continue to think of others? I might write somethings that cause you to disagree -- please do and let's have meaningful conversation.

Look for the first installment next week. I'll be looking for you!

What would you do if you worked at Goldman Sachs?

Hello! Here's the question for today: what would you do if you worked at Goldman Sachs and knew of the alleged misdeeds that went on there? Would you have asked in on the action? Tried to report it to someone in the company to stop it? Blew the whistle to an outside agency? Did nothing?
What do you do if something at work is not right and you feel like you have minimal power? In hindsight, we are all very smart and have so many of the answers. But when something is actually happening, and you are in the thick of it, what can you do?
Being a problem solver at work means that we are creative, cooperative, communicative. I'd love to hear your answers and thoughts on this topic.
See you soon!